There is the building. Right in my path. Enter, the sign says.

There is a door, So I open it and go in. And find myself outside the door.

I repeat the process more slowly. Watch how I turn the handle. The door swings easily enough. I walk through the doorway and I’m

Outside the door. Outside the building again.

There’s something funny about that entry. It looks like an entry, but it sort of doesn’t seem to work. Maybe I should go round it looking for other ways in. Problem is, they might be illusions too.

What I like about a locked door is that it removes doubt. As long as it has a handle, I can pull or turn it or something, and the door stays put, doesn’t swing or slide. Annoying, maybe, and when annoyance has passed the challenge remains. Here is a door I can’t open.

But not this kind of door.

So I’ll open it and go in again. What will happen this time?

In fairy tales, one has to say ‘open sesame’ or ‘speak friend and enter’ or some other sort of password. From memory though, until you spoke the right words the door stayed put without opening. Or those tales didn’t mention the kind of door you could think you’d gone through and then find you hadn’t.

Back at university there was a particular course, where no matter how I  tried, the tutor wasn’t satisfied with what I wrote in my essays. I was chatting with another student on the course one day and I remember him saying how pleasantly surprised he was at the good marks he was getting. ‘Not my style at all’, he told me.

I worked harder on that course than on any I’d ever done before and still got a fail grade.

So does it come down to, we think we’re speaking the same language so we believe we understand each other, but we’re really speaking such different versions of the same language that we actually don’t communicate?

What if there’s someone inside signalling frantically, trying to get my attention? ‘Do it this way!!!!!!!!!. Then it works.

Maybe. But meanwhile I’ll have another sleep. Sometimes good ideas come in dreams – maybe if I put my ideas out of the way for a bit I can get a subconscious message that will make it all so easy and obvious.



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